What Am I Supposed To Do?

           Momma Neda  (A woman in her late 50’s is in her kitchen preparing dinner.): Come on in this house, Son! It looks like the sky is about to split in half. All this rain is gone push my turnips before they can catch root good. Go on hand me ya coat. Ain’t nothing change much around here, it’s still the same, just like ya daddy left it. Go on get washed up, so I can feed ya belly. I know those folks at the fancy school ain’t feeding ya good.

Lord have mercy, my baby is a man now. Umm. Makes me clutch my chest every time I think about it. What am I supposed to do know now?  (She lifts her head upwards.) Willie, you sho left us at the wrong time. God bless ya soul.

Oh Willie! What am I supposed to do now? Our boy up in Boston at some fancy school. You and I both know those folks don’t care nothing about our son going to some fancy school. If he’s out and sneeze the wrong way, they’ll put him down like a dog. Like a got damn dog! Cause that’s how they think of us. I keep telling him, Willie. To be careful and go bout ya business and don’t bother much with nobody. The Black man never gotten any respect from them, and never will. Willie, you knows it too. I remember that time back in ’70. We stopped by Huey’s to pick up some tools, cause the shed needed fixing. Jonny gave you the wrong change back and, you told him. That fool looked up at you and spit square in ya face. Lord! My heart dropped cause I knew you were bout to do something that was gonna get you kill’t. But you didn’t: ya wanted to, but ya didn’t.

I watched you come home every night, broken. Ya body sore from lifting things a machine shoulda been doing, and your hands hard and stiffer than a wooden plank. They worked you to death! I lost you, Willie. And I’ll be damn if they take our son.  My heart sinks every time he gotta go back to Boston. There ain’t no difference between the Bama noose and the one’s up North.

(She releases an exasperated sigh) We did ok, Willie. That fancy school gonna make our boy a doctor. He bout  through too, only two more years. I want him to live and not worry bout living. Ain’t no way to be for somebody to have to worry about not coming home to their own bed at night. God shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and evermore.

I want him to live and not worry bout living. Ain’t no way to be for somebody to have to worry about not coming home to their own bed at night.

(She lowers her head to speak to her son again.) Son! You done washing up? Come on in the kitchen so momma can feed ya up with some love. Tell me all the new things you learning at that fancy school.

Original post: 50in50-Writing Women Into Existence

About zakeiatyson@hotmail.com

A native of Harlem, Zakeia Tyson-Cross is a naturally gifted storyteller and performer whose passion for life, history and community inspires her creativity— married with a deep commitment to social change and people of color as they relate specifically to Gender Violence, Reproductive Justice, and Pop Culture.